Anxiety
Anx·i·e·ty: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. (Oxford Languages) I work with adults experiencing mild, moderate, & severe symptoms related to various challenges with anxiety, such as general anxiety, social anxiety, & obsessive compulsions.
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"I never thought of myself as a person with anxiety".
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Clients make this remark more often than not. People often believe what they're experiencing is, "Just the way I am". They learn to accommodate their anxious tendencies so well that it doesn't even occur to them that life could be or feel differently.
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Anxious people can't imagine a day without a constant internal dialogue, hyper-analyzing pros & cons, assessing outcomes, ruminating on conversations & interactions, second-guessing themselves, heart throbbing, stomach drops, sweaty palms, irritability, intrusive worry thoughts, or expending excessive amounts of energy trying to avoid the things they fear. (And those are just some of the more common anxiety symptoms.) Often, these propensities are chalked up to simply being characteristic of a "worry wort," a "people pleaser," some who is
"detail-oriented," or a "perfectionist." Other examples of common anxiety symptoms are listed below.
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Therapy can help you understand where your anxiety comes from, identify how you may unintentionally exacerbate it, develop skills to manage it, differentiate between the lies it tells you, & stop letting it control you.
perfectionism
- You set extremely high expectations & goals & feel
ashamed if you don't live up to them
- You spend excessive amounts of time & energy preparing,
executing, & revising
- You feel uncomfortable when things aren't organized & tidy
- You have a hard time adjusting to a different plan
- You become irritable & stressed when your plans aren't
executed accordingly
- You can be overly critical of yourself & others
- You easily point out faults & mistakes
- You often pay more attention to negative than positives
- You have a limited threshold for discomfort & stress
- You agonize over mistakes for days
- You never feel good enough & you often feel like a disappointment
- People may refer to you as "tightly wound" or "type A"
worry
- You catastrophize situations by imaging the
worst-case scenario outcomes
- You have a hard time conceiving, considering, & believing alternatives
- You overly prepare unduly in advance
- Your worries & fears keep you up at night
- You worry about the health & well-being of yourself & others
- You offer advice to others because their uncertainty is your uncertainty
- You're often excessively early
- Anticipation makes you anxious
- You run through every possible outcome of every situation over & over
in your mind
- Your friends refer to you as the "mom" or "dad" of the group because
you're always overly prepared "just in case."
people pleasing
- You constantly fear hurting people's feelings
- You say yes to things even when you'd rather say no
- You feel other's emotions as if their struggles were your own
- You prioritize other's preferences & well-being over your own
- You feel personally responsible & take the blame for things you shouldn't
- Confrontation makes you uncomfortable & so you avoid it at all costs
- You often take a "mediator," "Switzerland", or "peacekeeper" role
- You find yourself feeling resentful when others don't make the same
considerations on your behalf
- You try to make things easy for others & say things like,
"I don't care, it's up to you."
- You often ask yourself, "why did I say yes to that?"
As-soon-as syndrome
- You make a lot of checklists and to-do lists
- You feel like your lists are never-ending
- You formulate large goals you often have a hard time attaining
- You believe as soon as you complete all your tasks or accomplish all your
life goals, you'll finally be stress-free & happy
- You find yourself in a cyclical pattern because once you've cross
everything off & reached your objectives, it doesn't actually come with
the relief you thought it would
- You try & try again, but often become hopeless, demotivated, & caught
up in the cycle of failure
- You start to believe or affirm the worst of yourself
anxiety or panic attacks
Anxiety attacks:
- Are brought on by emotional triggers & you often feel them coming on
- They are often due to a lack of one's inability to tolerate distress and/or
effectively regulate their emotions
- Therefore, a person becomes overwhelmed by intense emotions &
mentally"shuts down" because they are unable to process simultaneously
the situational trigger, their emotions, & thoughts
- Features of an anxiety attack include severe restlessness, increased heart
rate, worry, fear, & anticipation
- These attacks can last hours from the time of the triggering incident to when
the person has returned to baseline
- Anxiety attacks can feel like you're suffocating from the inside because you're
unable to verbalize what's going on for you, which can be exacerbated by
another person who doesn't understand you or what's going on
Panic attacks:
- Are similar to anxiety attacks with some distinct & important differences
- Panic attacks are more severe, acute, & unexpected
- A person may experience a triggering event but may not be able to
attribute their attack to the event as the attack may be induced by the
associated fear(s)
- While panic attacks are also a reflection of one's inability to tolerate distress
and/or effectively regulate their emotions, these types of attacks are often
induced by the person's internal response to the fear
- The person's internal systems cause the flight, fight, or freeze response,
which is why panic attacks can be unexpected & acute
- Panic attacks can feel like actual suffocation because of the rapid heart rate
& respiration rate
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obsessions & compulsions
- Obsessions & compulsions can be symptoms of anxiety or a diagnosis
- "OCD" is not just an urge to double-check or organize
- OCD is repetitive fear-based behaviors (compulsions) or thoughts
(obsessions)
- Common behaviors are skin-picking & hair pulling
- Common compulsions are excessive working out caused by an obsession
over one's appearance or seeking reassurance or approval from others
- Anxiety creates an excess amount of energy, which causes physical
discomfort
- Obsessions & compulsions are a means to alleviate the physical
discomfort by channeling the energy to a detrimental degree
General, social, or add?
General Anxiety:
- General anxiety is just that. It's general. You're generally anxious about
everything & anything
- Common triggers of general anxiety are things like timing, confrontation, & failure, & are usually rooted in fear(s)
- Common fears are the unknown, the uncertainty, the
"grey" areas of life, death, illness, or discomfort
Social Anxiety:
- Social anxiety centralizes around social interactions, either before, during, or
even after
- Common triggers are conversations, presentations, parties, concerts, formal
dinners, and meeting new people
- Social anxiety is also rooted in fear(s), like the fear of being judged or disliked
if you do or say something "wrong"
ADD/ADHD:
- Anxiety can mirror & mimic ADD/ADHD & vice versa
- This is why integrated & comprehensive care is essential for accurate
diagnosing & treatment planning
D.) All of the Above:
- Yep. That's right. You can also be challenged by all of these struggles at
the same time
- This is also why appropriate treatment is vital - each of these issues is
often caused by different things & are also treated in very different ways
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